Finding My Voice (Over)

I remember an early meeting with cinematographer Wolfgang Held about A Life’s Work. He liked the idea, but he thought since it was such a personal story, that I should be in it. I objected. “My fingerprints will be all over it. I don’t need to be in it,” I remember telling him.

Slowly I came around to the idea of perhaps, at a crucial point toward the end of the film, my voice asking a question, and in the 36-minute sample, that’s what happens.

But before I continue, let me back up…

1999. Soon after 8 1/2 x 11 wrapped, I saw Sherman’s March by Ross McElwee and boy did I not like it. It was not McElwee’s fault, I was watching his film at the wrong time in my life. I saw it again on a whim ten years later, while in production with A Life’s Work, and that time I loved it. I found the film insightful, funny and charming.

Back to the Near-Present

Last week I watched a documentary called Triumph of the Wall, directed by Bill Stone. I was impressed with his use of voice over. It showed a vulnerability you don’t often see in documentary films. (Stone’s v.o. was clearly inspired by McElwee, and he admits this in the mini-interview I did with him for Filmmaker Magazine.) I enjoyed this film immensely and felt that there were more than a few thematic similarities between it and A Life’s Work.

Let Me Back Up Again to About 40 Years Ago

I remember the first time I heard my voice played back on a tape recorder. Like most people I was stunned to discover it sounded nothing like what I heard as I spoke. I didn’t hate the sound of my voice, it just didn’t sound like “me” and I found that unsettling.

Back to the Almost Near Present

David Licata, Gerard Mignone, Yvonne Delet on The Unknown Zone.

A few weeks ago I was on Yvonne Delet’s podcast, The Unknown Zone (episode 17). When she emailed me the link to the show, I didn’t want to listen to it, but eventually decided to because why not? And lo! I wasn’t horrified by the sound of my voice. In fact, I thought it had a kind of mellow quality. Soothing almost.

Let Me Back Up Again, But Not Too Far Back, Only to Few Months Ago

After I showed the 36-minute sample of A Life’s Work at Ucross back in March, I did a little q&a. One question asked: where did the idea come from? I recounted the two events that inspired it: hearing as an eight-year-old in Catholic grammar school about how long medieval cathedrals took to build and grieving my mother’s death 35 years later. One fellow suggested I find a way to incorporate that into the film. It wasn’t the first time I had heard this (Wolfgang said it as well when he heard the story), and my reaction has always been negative: I told another fellow privately that I should not reveal what inspired me because everyone seems to think that story belongs in the film.

And All This Leads To…

Coming around slowly to the personal documentary genre, watching Triumph of the Wall, hearing my voice and not hating it, hearing for the umpteenth time that I should include some personal details in the film, these things, and probably a few more I’m not even aware of, converged, and at this juncture the idea of using some voice over narration for A Life’s Work seems like an option.

I don’t always listen to advice and I don’t always heed signs. Often it takes a while for me to admit that an idea regarding the film, posed by someone other than me, is a good one.

I don’t know that I will actually go the personal voice over route, but it feels kind of liberating to have opened up a door that I have, for so many years, so stubbornly locked and bolted.